Welcome, teachers and caregivers! Today, we're diving into a topic that can make a big difference in your preschool classroom—how to stop whining. This is the final post in my summer series on challenging behaviors in early childhood settings. So far, we've talked about tattling and social exclusion, and now it's time to explore whining—something every Montessori and traditional preschool teacher has encountered.
What is Whining?
Whining is more than just complaining—it's a high-pitched, drawn-out way of speaking that can wear down even the most patient Montessori educator. According to Merriam-Webster, it means “to complain in an annoying way.” In the classroom, it often sounds like drawn-out words or names, such as “Miss Maaaary Caaatheriiiine.”
Why Do Children Whine?
Understanding the “why” behind whining is key to supporting young children’s development. Here are some common reasons:
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Toddlers and preschoolers may not have learned how to regulate their tone of voice yet.
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Some kids whine because it gets quick results.
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Others crave adult attention—even if it’s negative.
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According to Positive Discipline: A Teacher’s A-Z Guide, whining might just be a phase. Once children learn more effective ways to connect and feel included, the behavior often fades.
How to Stop Whining in Preschool
Whether you're running a Montessori environment or a traditional early education program, consistency is key. Here are some practical strategies:
1. Address It Directly
I like to say, “I can’t understand you when you use a whining voice. Please take the whine out and say it again.” If the child doesn’t realize they’re whining, I’ll model a calm, clear speaking voice for them.
2. Practice and Model Communication Skills
One of the best ways to teach communication skills is through role-playing activities. Let children practice asking for help or sharing feelings using a respectful tone. Make it fun and interactive—this is a great learning activity for both kids and adults!
In Montessori classrooms, grace and courtesy lessons align perfectly with this strategy. You can weave this into your curriculum during circle time or class meetings.
3. Reinforce Positive Behavior
If a child whines for attention, help them find better ways to connect. Have a one-on-one talk and explain that they’ll get more attention when they speak clearly. Then follow through with that attention! Highlight their helpful actions:
“Thank you for pushing in the chairs! That keeps our space safe and neat.”
This simple acknowledgment builds confidence, encourages social-emotional development, and helps children feel seen and valued.
4. Ignore the Whining (Strategically)
An anecdote from Positive Discipline suggests ignoring whining and only responding to normal voices. You might say:
“Today, I’m only listening to strong, respectful voices. I can’t wait to talk with you when you’re ready.”
Use this method thoughtfully and consistently. Pair it with reminders and encouragement throughout the day.
5. Stay Calm and Reflect
Let’s be honest—whining can be incredibly frustrating. Whether you're a parent or a preschool teacher, it's easy to lose patience. That’s why it’s essential to check in with yourself, take a breath, and respond with empathy. Your calm presence helps guide children toward better behavior choices and supports their emotional development.
Preschool Tools and Activities to Support Learning
Staying organized helps you stay calm and focused. Here are some tools and tips for creating a peaceful, productive learning space:
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Keep a predictable routine to reduce stress for both children and teachers.
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Use visual schedules and communication tools in your classroom.
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Plan ahead with thematic curriculum and hands-on activities that support skills like self-regulation, communication, and independence.
Done-for-You Preschool and Montessori Resources
Looking to save time and stay inspired? Preschool Teacher 101 offers ready-to-use Montessori-friendly lesson plans and behavior support tools. These educational resources are perfect for busy teachers who want to create engaging, developmentally appropriate learning experiences for toddlers and preschoolers.
Choose from a wide range of themes that make learning meaningful and fun. Whether you're managing behavior, planning a skills-based curriculum, or looking for creative activities, there's something for every classroom!
Share Your Tips!
What are your go-to strategies for handling whining in the preschool or Montessori setting? Drop a comment and share your experiences! Let's learn from one another and build a stronger teaching community.